How To Relax TMJ Symptoms - What I do when a flare hits

When I had a TMJ flare-up on my “good” side, I was devastated.

I’d lived with it on my bad side (right) for so many years that it had just become part of who I was. But when it started on the side I could still rely on, it felt like reliving it all over again.

When your “good side” isn’t so good anymore

When you have TMJ disorder, you get used to the crunching and cracking. I barely noticed it after so many years. I mainly chewed food on my good side, so everything felt manageable.

But this sudden flare in the side of my jaw that I relied on completely knocked me for six.

After a couple of days of feeling sorry for myself and sitting in the pain, I knew I had to do something.

Online searching for - how to relax TMJ symptoms

It had been so long since I’d had a flare this intense that I didn’t really know where to start.

The last time I improved was through complementary therapies. This time, I wondered if there were other things I could try.

So I did what most of us do at 2am in pain - I started searching. And I was reassured to find that trusted sources like the NHS and Mayo Clinic both point to self-care, gentle exercises and stress reduction as the first-line approach.

There’s now far more guidance available, including from trusted medical sources like the NHS and Mayo Clinic, both of which recommend self-care, gentle exercises and stress reduction as first-line approaches to TMJ pain.

That gave me a place to begin.

What I started with (and why I took it slowly)

I started with gentle stretching.

My top back teeth on the affected side were so painful, most likely from grinding in the night. Teeth grinding (bruxism) is actually a common contributor to TMJ symptoms, as noted by the Cleveland Clinic.

So I gently stretched my head away from the side that hurt and tried different angles, slowly and carefully. One angle in particular pulled on a muscle that I could feel directly on that tooth. And strangely, it felt good.

When you’re in constant pain, it’s tempting to keep doing anything that brings relief. But I didn’t.

Instead, I kept it slow:

• A few gentle stretches

• A few times each hour

• Only for a few seconds

  
  

I didn’t want to risk making things worse. This felt like a safer way to support how to relax TMJ symptoms without overdoing it.

Adding massage (gently and consistently)

Once I felt that was helping, I added in a massage.

I worked on:

• The muscles in my cheek

• Around my jaw

• Into my neck

I also stretched both sides of my neck, not just the painful one. This approach is backed by research. A systematic review published in the Journal of Oral Rehabilitation found that manual therapy and exercise can significantly reduce pain and improve jaw function in TMJ disorders

Another review supports combining physical therapy approaches (like massage and movement) with education for better outcomes.

This reassured me that what I was doing was actually evidence-based - not just wishful thinking.

Bringing in Magnesium support

As a Nutritional Therapist, I knew magnesium can help relax muscles. Through the pain and brain fog, I remembered I had some magnesium oil.

So I started applying it to my face each time I massaged.

It:

• Helped my hands move more easily

• Felt soothing and comforting

• Became part of the routine

  
  

Magnesium plays a role in muscle relaxation and nervous system regulation, which may help reduce tension. The NHS also highlights the importance of overall muscle relaxation and reducing tension in managing TMJ symptoms.

At this point, I really felt like I was starting to really understand how to relax TMJ symptoms in a way that worked for me and my body.

What happened next?

This became my routine over the next few days. Did it stop the pain immediately? No. But within 24 hours, for the first time in days, I had moments of relief. And by sticking with it consistently, the pain began to lift.

That consistency is essential when it comes to learning how to relax your jaw from TMJ pain, not doing more, just doing enough, regularly.

The part that matters just as much (if not more)

Everything I’ve shared so far is the physical side. But there’s something else that mattered just as much. The flare didn’t come out of nowhere. It followed an intense period of stress with a family member. It had been building for over a week, and this was the tipping point.

So I did something that wasn’t easy.

I removed the stress.

I stepped back. I went no contact. And I focused on me - just me.

Why stress and TMJ are so closely linked

TMJ isn’t just physical. The Mayo Clinic highlights stress-related habits like clenching or tightening the jaw as a major contributing factor. There’s also strong evidence that conservative treatments - like relaxation, stress management, and physical therapy - are the most effective first steps.

This is why learning how to relax TMJ symptoms isn’t just about stretches and massage, it’s about calming your whole system.

A gentle reality check

Anyone who’s experienced this kind of pain knows how consuming it is. It’s hard to think about anything else.

And the reality is, many of us don’t get the chance to step away from the stress that caused it in the first place.

That’s where I was when I was first diagnosed.

But this time was different.

I was older. I understood my body more. And I had the support of a wonderful man who put my recovery first.

That made a huge difference. All the difference.

Simple things that helped me

If you're in a flare right now, here's what helped me most:

• Gentle, slow stretching (not forcing anything)

• Light massage around the jaw and neck

• Working both sides of the body

• Using magnesium oil for support

• Reducing stress where possible

• Giving it time and consistency

More than anything, easing TMJ is about allowing your body to feel safe again - physically and emotionally. That sounds simple. It isn't. But it's where the real relief comes from.

If you’re in the middle of a flare right now, I know how overwhelming it can feel.

But easing TMJ isn’t about doing everything at once.

It’s about small, steady steps.

Start gently. Stay consistent. And give yourself more care than pressure.

Health Disclaimer

This article is for informational purposes only and based on personal experience. It does not replace medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, medications, treatment plan or start any kind of exercise regime.

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Hi, I'm Sally - a Nutritional Therapist and chronic illness blogger who has been living with Menière's disease, TMJ Disorder and Degenerative Disc Disease for over twenty years. I write about the real experience of managing these conditions day to day, blending personal insight with nutritional and lifestyle knowledge. I hope something here helps you feel a little less alone.