My Journey with TMJ Disorder - Learning How to Relax TMJ Symptoms as quickly as I Could)
- thewudyway
- Dec 16, 2025
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 20
In 2001 I moved into my first home with my then-partner. If I’m being honest, I didn’t really want to, but at that age, it felt like the right thing to do. Before I knew it, I was moving in, swept along by the plan. It was the wrong decision for both of us.
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When the pain kicked in
Within two months, I woke up one day with all my teeth feeling unbearably sensitive and painful. Chewing became impossible. Soon after, pain settled into the right side of my jaw and refused to leave - for nearly a year.
The pain was relentless. Nothing helped. And the symptoms of a TMJ flare up are not pretty.
Jaw pain
Facial pain or tenderness
Earaches or pain around the ear
Headaches
Neck and shoulder pain
Difficulty or discomfort eating
Jaw locking when opening and closing mouth
Difficulty opening the mouth wide
Clicking, popping, or grating sounds when opening the mouth
Change in how the upper and lower teeth fit together
And these are the well known symptoms but there are other less known ones...
Tinnitus
Dizziness or vertigo
Toothaches without known dental causes
Swelling on the side of the face
Seeing the GP
I went to my GP, who dismissed the issue and told me to see a dentist. The first dentist I visited had never even heard of it.
In my desperation to find out how to relax TMJ symptoms I eventually, I found another dentist who suspected I was grinding my teeth. He made me a mouthguard to wear at night. It slightly reduced the pain while sleeping, but during the day, I was still in constant agony. Painkillers and anti-inflammatories did nothing. I stopped taking them altogether after nearly nodding off at my work desk one day.
During this year I turned 30 and went to Croatia for a holiday. I forgot to take the mouthguard, so was in even more agony than usual. The whole holiday was spent having soup to eat and beer to slightly numb the pain.
Sleeping became a real issue. I’d wake up in pain and go to bed in pain. It felt like I’d be stuck with this forever. It really affected my mental health.
Struggling through daily life
My partner had no idea how much pain I was in. I pushed myself to function as a “dutiful” girlfriend—cooking, carrying on as if nothing was wrong. Looking back, I don’t know why I did that, but it’s a pattern I now recognise in myself: pretending everything is fine when it’s not. I was searching constantly for an answer to relieve my pain and find out how to relax TMJ symptoms, it completely consumed me.
During this time, I lost a close friendship. My friend was going through a breakup and leaned on me for support. At first, I was happy to listen, but eventually, I just couldn’t cope anymore. It wasn’t her fault, but I don’t think anyone can truly understand what it’s like to be in constant, agonising pain unless they’ve been through it themselves.
I realized I needed to focus on my own health and that meant drawing back from people around me. It was a lonely time.
Seeking answers
My dentist eventually referred me to a maxillofacial consultant at the hospital. Once again, I could tell straight away that they didn't know what to do for me.
The consultant suggested an exploratory operation - cutting my jaw open, cleaning around the joint, and stitching me back up. I was in so much pain that the very thought made me feel faint. A nurse had to bring me water before I could even respond. When I asked, “Will this stop the pain?” the doctor simply said, “I don’t know.” Still no answers on how to relax TMJ symptoms I continued to research online.
Alternate Therapies - Could they teach me how to relax TMJ symptoms?
Since conventional treatments had failed me, I've always been interested in alternative therapies so started to research what was out there that might be able to help.
Chiropractic Treatment
I started seeing a chiropractor, traveling 50 minutes each week for an appointment that lasted less than five minutes. He would crack my skull and neck, which temporarily eased the pain. The relief lasted about 15 minutes before the pain returned, usually by the time I had got home I was back to square one. At nearly £40 per session, this was not a sustainable long-term solution. However, it showed me that physical treatments could help.
The Bowen Technique
Next, I tried the Bowen Technique. I found a newly qualified practitioner 20 minutes away. Once a week, I’d visit her home for treatment in a dimly lit spare bedroom. The therapy involved small, rolling movements on the fascia under my skin. She would perform a few moves, leave the room for a few minutes, then return to continue.
Over several weeks, I noticed a significant reduction in pain. It wasn’t gone entirely, but it was much better. She was so lovely and determined to help me to become pain free, finally I felt that I might be closer to working out how to relax TMJ symptoms.
My practitioner sought out advice from more experienced Bowen practitioner, who suggested a specific movement around the coccyx area.
She tried it - and boom! The pain vanished.
I continued for a few more sessions, and she repeated the coccyx roll along with the full-body treatment. I was finally pain-free. It was an incredible relief.
Life after treatment
Though my jaw was never the same again, it cracked and scraped, and the right side of my face became noticeably slimmer due to cartilage loss. The debilitating pain was gone. Occasionally, I experienced mild flare-ups, but they were nothing compared to that year of relentless suffering.
Then, in 2022, it returned - this time, on the left side of my jaw.
Understanding my triggers
As always, stress was the trigger.
After an extremely stressful event, I noticed myself grinding my teeth again. Soon, the familiar pain in my left back teeth made them too sensitive to touch. But this time, I understood what was happening: my TMJ disorder was being caused by muscle tension in my jaw, neck, and shoulders.
A quick Google search for TMJ will tell you that it’s often related to jaw alignment, requiring splints or even tooth extractions. While that may be true for some, I now know that for me, TMJ pain is entirely due to muscle tension - and muscle tension can be relieved. But this time I didn't go back for Bowen Therapy, I decided to try and learn for good how to relax TMJ symptoms, well at least my symptoms.
Managing my TMJ today
During this painful flare-up, I developed a daily stretching and self-massage routine. I focused on:
Massaging my jaw muscles
Stretching my neck
Taking magnesium supplements (which help relax muscles)
Within a few days, the pain began to ease. A few days after that, it was gone. But honestly those "few days" were the longest I remember in a very long time. Finally I had the toolkit for myself to ensure that I always knew how to relax TMJ symptoms before they took hold.
Where I am now
I now know that I need to keep my neck from stiffening up. The moment it does, I can feel the pain creeping back in. More importantly, I’ve learned that stress is my biggest trigger -so I’m doing my best to avoid unnecessary stress and prioritise self-care.
After all, prevention is better than cure.
I hope that reading this will help you to find out how to relax TMJ symptoms when you experience them. I hope that you never need this advice though.
Tags: how to relax tmj symptoms | symptoms of a tmj flare up
Hi, I’m Sally. I share simple ways to calm the nervous system and live more gently, shaped by my own experience living with menieres and TMJ disorder. I hope my journey helps you feel supported on yours.
